Feisty Lovebird
I am active.
For I love to fly.
Sometimes curiosity takes over me
And I’ll be flying off on an adventure
Singing in the sky.
At the end of my adventure,
You can find me on your porch.
And you will see that I can be playful,
As long as you play along.
Once we are friends,
Nothing should go wrong.
But if you make a bad move,
If you make me mad,
I might just bite at your hand young lad.
But not to worry,
It’s like what I said,
Once we are friends,
Nothing should go wrong.
Because nothing,
Not a bite on the hand,
Can break us apart.
I am a lovebird.
Hey Kristen. I like your title, "Fiesty Lovebird." Sounds catchy. Your poem has a variety of verbs and adjectives, in which I see relates you to this particular type of animal.
ReplyDeleteFor the line that says, "Nothing should go wrong," maybe replace 'should' to 'would' because it sounds as if you're saying something might go wrong. In case something goes wrong, you have the line "But if you make a bad move" to back it up.
In your third stanza, maybe omit the line, "because nothing." Then it would sound like this. "Nothing 'would' go wrong, not a bite on the hand, can break us apart." I'm still debating on whether or not you should leave it like that because there's a double negative. On the bright side, however, it sounds pleasing. Overall, You did a good job on this rough draft.